the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
