I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
