I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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