i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize