Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
