Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just pee around me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
