So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
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