I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
