i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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