never play flip cup with pint glasses
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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