dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
