Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
