Duck Duck Cougar?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
