I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
try to milk me bitch
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
