That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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