We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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