this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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