Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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