just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
