so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
