last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
