just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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