I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
