I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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