32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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