wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
