I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
