meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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