If i could tip my vagina, i would.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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