No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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