Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
