i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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