Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
