just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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