I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
