When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
