I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
