Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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