I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
