I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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