he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
