I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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