I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
