Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Floor bacon is actually really good
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
