how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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