I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
