i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
