soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
