We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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