I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
