before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
