Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
