I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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