Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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