Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
