you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
